I went out with a couple co-workers after work this evening. Hey, its Cinco de Mayo! One of my co-workers is my age (almost to the day) and is married, no kids. She often talks at the office about how she could not handle being a Mother and the thought freaks her out and how she just wants animals. My other co-worker is 5 years younger than us and is getting ready to start a family this year. So the talk turned a bit to pregnancy and kids.
I asked the first co-worker if her husband wanted kids or if they discussed it before getting married, will she regret one day that she hasn't had one, blah, blah, blah. Can you see the writing on the wall yet? She finally turned to me and said they have fertility problems and it is extremely unlikely that they could ever get pregnant so they are just moving on. Open mouth, insert foot. I was so mad at myself. I pride myself that I'm not that person who says stupid things and is more aware before I open my mouth. :(
To err is human I suppose.
5 comments:
Unfortunately, we all have done it, even without knowing. I'm sure she knows you well enough to know you weren't trying to hurt her. Belive me, I've been asked this a ton. It is a lot different when a friend is sincerely asking questions, than when someone you meet for the first time says, wow, you only have one, don't you want more? Much different. I never mind friends asking sincere questions, it is the complete strangers that want details that is awkward. I'm sure you are fine. And, yes, I do believe that you are more considerate to people's feelings than most people.
I wouldnt have been offended if I was her. Especially if I was frequently telling people how I didnt want children and couldnt handle it. This is MUCH different than being unable. Lucky for you you dont do this too often. I almost always have a foot in my mouth. I think it may be stuck :)
Standing in line waiting to to graduate from law school, I asked one of my classmates when her baby was due. She informed me that she'd had the baby 2 weeks earlier. In my defense, she was short and stocky and carried well throughout her pregnancy (you could hardly tell she was pregnant), and we were in a dark area in thick black robes. Still, I was mortified. Couldn't believe I found (put) myself in that situation.
And no, you are not the offending type, so I'm sure your friend was not offended.
I wouldn't worry about it... We all "open mouth and insert foot" once in awhile. You didn't intend to hurt anyone. No worries, no worries! :)
Hope this makes you feel better:
I brought my kids to corporate headquarters of State Farm (where I worked) during Halloween to show off their costumes. Keep in mind there are 11,000 people on the campus. We walked past one girl who was wearing an eye patch and I pointed to her and said, "Look kids...a pirate!" The kids got excited and she smiled.
No big deal, right?
Over the next several weeks following that incident, I saw the same girl in the cafeteria probably a dozen times. She was still wearing the eye patch.
WHY HAD I NEVER SEEN HER PRIOR TO HALLOWEEN?!?!? I felt horrible.
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