I suffer from mild depression. It runs in my family. It is what it is. Except for the days when it isn't.
I was in college the first time my doctor put me on anti-depressants. I felt so embarrassed and humiliated. I felt weak like something was really wrong with me. I think since that period of time I've been on anti-depressants 3 separate times for about 6months - 1 year each time.
It wasn't something I ever really talked about with anyone until I moved to Boston. One of my good friends out there was on anti-depressants and oh it was so refreshing to discuss depression with this friend. It is real and it does affect people. I think that was the first time that I felt okay and not a reject for being on anti-depressants.
But it does run in my family and yet my family doesn't talk much about it. I think about that from time to time. I know when I hit a low the best thing for me is to talk... and talk and talk about anything and everything. Its like my mind goes into this deep place and has to process all these deep thoughts before it can head to the surface and a lighter place. So why doesn't my family talk about it? Are we all trying to pretend that it isn't a part of our lives? Do we feel like lesser people? Or are they talking about it but just not with me? Perhaps they feel like I don't want to talk about it? Or is it that we know it is what it is and just deal with it? I gotta think about that a bit.
I do feel so blessed to have some good, close friends who let me do all this talking when the need arises. I'm sure they pretty much realize that I'm feeling low but never say anything; they just talk with me. Cause honestly there are times when I don't realize I'm feeling low until a few days later.
So, I'm feeling the need in my life again to get back on some anti-depressants. But I really don't like the side effects of prescription drugs and for whatever reason am a bit against prescription drugs in general. Don't ask why cause I really won't have a good answer for you why I think that way. I went back to my homeopathic doc this past week to discuss some homeopathic options for dealing with mild depression. I just started with Deprex this past week and am hoping it does the trick.
We shouldn't be embarrassed to talk about depression. In fact, I think we should discuss it more. Discuss how it affects different people and how each person copes with those low periods. We aren't perfect people and our bodies are not perfect. Embrace our bodies is what I say. Ha.
9 comments:
I love that your blog discusses your real thoughts and feelings. We are all human and struggle with depression from time to time. I know I do and yes, talking is a necessity in getting thru it. I, too, am thankful for good friends who are willing to let me talk thru my feelings and emotions.
i remember after the "breakdown of '99", at my first therapy session saying, "but this doesn't make sense. my husband didn't leave me. my house didn't burn down. my child didn't die. i shouldn't feel this way. i'm so weak!"
it took some doing for me to realize that emotional health is a critical part of life. you do what you have to to keep yourself emotionally healthy.
i'm proud of you for talking about it. and of course you know you acn call me & talk ANY time.
I am also on a natural supplement anti-d these days and feel much better about it than a pharmaceutical (though I would do that if nothing else worked.) Let me know if you want to know more about it. I hear you on everything.
Depression is a real thing! Right around Christmas time I was really struggling with it! Too much stuff going on that I could not control. I am so thankful that I know My Heavenly Father listens to me when I could not talk to anyone else. You are wonderful!
I know how you feel. And I totally agree that talking helps, rather than keeping it all inside. It especially helps to talk to other people who feel the same way who can relate. It is definitely a trial I face in life, and I hope that each time I get through it, it will make me stronger.
I agree that people should be more open about depression...being a nurse I have found that depression is SO common...In fact, I think that everyone has some level of depression.
I loved this post. It's great to hear this discussed openly.
I just got finished reading a book about depression (The Noonday Demon) it's fantastic but one of the things it talks a lot about is that it's a women's disease. Men have it too, of course but 3-4times as many women get it than men, and from the few studies they do, it seems that we feel bad and ruminate and that affects our self-esteem, more strongly alters our moods, whereas men feel bad and then distract themselves.
This is why I think women need to take care of each other. Listen, talk, listen, talk. I love SSRIs and I love therapy too, but women listening/talking to other women I think is really helpful.
It DEFINATELY runs in our family! Good job in talkin about it. I had a hard time accepting the fact that I needed something. My Dr. said that our bodies are under stress constantly, that it can't tell the difference between good stress and bad stress, just that it's being stressed. Then something additonal happens and it sends it into overload. So just think of the anti-d as a "vitamin". Once I accepted it, I've done great. Good luck, and I'm here, too, if you need me!
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